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Chii Tastic

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[27 Jul 2009|02:59pm]
[ mood | depressed and sick ]

I've been feeling kinda down this week...Mickey and I had an arguement...we made up but he still ended up sleeping on the couch...I don't understand why that is...I am coming down with a cold...and today I didn't even want to get out of bed. Blah! Hoping things are gonna get better...Talked to my sister last night...I thought she was mad at me..guess not. I texted my other sister the other day...no response so maybe that one is I dunno. either way I just feel like if theres any kinda balance in this world I might be winning the lottery any day now. That's how shitty this week has been.

-the breaker for the stove needs to be replaced
-we had water trouble and our lawn was flooded (it's fixed now)
-argument
-tornado
-period

Yeah this week has been shit.

ttyl

~E~

wish upon a star

Just when you thought she had fallen off the face of the earth [19 Jul 2009|10:35pm]
[ mood | crazy ]

No I have not fallen off the face of the earth. I know it's been way to long. I've been without internet for ummm...5-6 months I think...I don't have an excuse for the rest of the non updates.

Ok so here we go....

My mom...had a few strokes...is ok..but kinda like a child...she had moved in with me (I'll get to that later) and then I was about to be out of a place and couldn't afford to have her here so when she was visiting my sister I told her she was going to have to stay there. Why is she not with my stepdad you ask? The fuckin nut case abbandoned her. He went into the hospital and got out and didn't tell anyone. Crazy I know. They said he had beginers ummm I forget but it's something like you gradually lose your mind and kinda go senial...yeah I think they said he's going senial...something like that...anyway he abandoned my mom. She had no income so she couldn't keep the house or keep it running cuz the asshole closed out his bank account. Anyway she's now living in Pa with a friend of my sisters.


Me....I've moved in with Mickey...we've been together over a year now. Things are going pretty well. Not everyday is sunshine and rainbows but I'm happy with him. We were going through finacial difficulties so his mom and stepdad moved in to help us...thus...internet. I just got approved for the hope grant and scholarship so guess what...I'm gonna go to school. Still not 100% sure what to go for but since I got the grant and all I figured I'll go up to Val tech and talk with a career advisor or whatever. Things have been really stressful financially but Mickey is wanting to start up his own flooring business and Erica is gonna go to school so things will be looking up by next year. I'm still not married...no kids...lol so really I think that's all there is to update on me.


I will try to update once in a while now that I have internet and nothing to do these days...(till I start school YAY)

peace out!

~E~

13 dared to dream| wish upon a star

Life goes on [16 Jul 2009|05:13pm]
[ mood | busy ]

Looks like mom will be moving in Sept. Mickey has moved in with me...I've started dance class I dunno if I mentioned that before. Mickey and I are hoping it won't be long before we're out on our own. I am looking for a job. We are hoping to get this car. That's all I have time to update...dance class here I come.

Love ya

~E~

7 dared to dream| wish upon a star

Chaos [26 Jun 2009|09:07pm]
[ mood | stressed, drained, ect ]

Well mom had 2 massive strokes on her right side and a few minor ones...she's doing ok...just having trouble doing simple things and the depression that goes with not being able to do the things you used to do. So having Jerry in a wheelchair and mom having trouble doing simple things I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed. Mickey has been tremendously helpful I couldn't ask for a better man by my side. I just feel over whelmed. I need to get my license...I need to get my ass in school...I need to get me a job...and take care of mom and Jerry. I've been cooking breakfast lunch and dinner since mom got home from the hospital, been doing dishes giving both Jerry and my mom thier meds...been picking up everything when mom forgets and leaves it out. It's just hectic. I am not going to keep putting off school though because I have so much to do here. I am trying to get her to be more independant but she's here and it feels like her mind isn't. I'm worried about her but I have faith. Just needed to vent.


~E~

BTW~~~HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOMORROW WHITNEY!!!!!!!!!!!

1 dared to dream| wish upon a star

And she's actually updating [20 Jun 2009|07:36am]
[ mood | calm ]

Yup I am updating. Ok Mickey and I are doing well for those who are wondering. Still going strong after 6 months...yeah it's not that long but it feels like we've been together forever (in a good way). I am working on a new diet hopefully I'll be close to normal weight by Christmas. I'm working on it. I don't have much time to update though cuz I gotta get going but I thought I'd give you a tiny update since I haven't updated in like 7 weeks lol.

Love yas

~E~

wish upon a star

[27 Apr 2008|03:43am]
[ mood | blah ]

Ok so the trip to Delaware has been put off this year...we'll go later on or something...but with funds so low...it had to be done. Things with Mickey and me are fine. Life is pretty boring. Just thought I'd do a quick update.

Catch ya later

~E~

2 dared to dream| wish upon a star

Blahness and such [13 Apr 2008|02:29pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

Well things are going great...well not really...I can get Mickey and me to Delaware and I can get us back...it's a place to stay for the two weeks that seems to be the problem. It's crazy because it's not like we're gonna be there more than to sleep but there's really no where I can get him. I have like 2 places I could crash if I was alone but because I'm with him it causes a little complication so I'm looking at roach motels to see what we can come up with. Even if we can afford it then we'll have like no spending money >_<. So I'm trying to work something out. Whatelse is new??? Not a lot. Happy Birthday to Sarah tomorrow!! Happy Friday the 13th to everyone. Life is kinda boring. I'm trying to sign up for school. Things with Mickey are going peachy. Life is in a good place right now for me...just in transition trying to get stuff done...a place to stay in DE and school...but I know things have a way of working out somehow. Look at me being all optimistic ^_^. I miss my buddies but it'll see everyone soon enough...Maybe even Heather! *Keeps fingers crosses* Well that's all there is to update I think...so...Catch ya later

~E~

wish upon a star

Updating...go me! [28 Mar 2008|05:15am]
[ mood | awake ]

Hey all. I got a new computer YAY. Well it's actually used but new to me haha. It's newer then anything I've ever had. I'm happy about it. Mickey is coming over today. I miss him we haven't been spending too much time together lately. Not because there's anything wrong with spending time together it's more like being able to get together and having family issues...not mine...his so I don't really feel like it's my place to talk about. I will say that everyone is fine...one just left heartbroken. Anyway, I miss my DE buddies. I miss my FL buddy. I miss you too where ever you are random people traveling places and u 2 know who u are hopefully haha. I don't really think I have anything major to update. But I thought I'd drop a note cuz I can't really sleep right now. I got a couple hours earlier from like 11:30pm-2:30am and I can't get back to sleep. I'm pretty wide awake. So I decided what the hell I'll post me an update.

Love ya
~E~

3 dared to dream| wish upon a star

Updating [02 Mar 2008|12:01pm]
[ mood | lazy ]

Yes I'm updating and suprisingly of my own free will. There isn't really a whole hell of a lot to update but I'm bored so I figured why not. It rained pretty bad last night. The electricity went out and all so...but it was worse other places so I'm glad we didn't have too much trouble. Mickeys Aunt is in the hospital not doing too well. She's got Pnemonia and ecoli. I know that I can't spell accept it and embrace it if you ever expect an update. Anyway, I should have a newer computer soon. I'm thinking within a week or so. It's not new but it's new for me and the one I have is shit so anything is better. My father will be sending it to me all I have to do is put a hard drive in it and my buddy Willie is going to help me cuz I'm too slow to bother with that. It's not a big deal I'm just gonna be wickedly happy to have the new puter. This one has seen better days. Other then that I figure with the new computer there's nothing stopping my lazy ass for getting to school so I'm gonna fill out FA stuff and hope to god I pick something I like and maybe take it by telecourse because I think it'd be more convinient for everyone but either way the new computer will be helpful to go to school. So thats the plan...I'm thinking bussiness management or something like that. The reason I came to that is because there are many things that I've wanted to do..Sarah you know there were so many different things I was intersted in at one time or another but eventually I always wanted my own bussiness in whatever field it was that I was interested in right? Right! So yeah I can major in bussiness and then pick courses here and there that i'm interested in I guess. so yeah that's the plan. That's about it. I'll try to update if things go as planned...if not then it'll probably take some extream boredum or bugging to get my to update again haha.

Love ya
~E~

2 dared to dream| wish upon a star

It's alive [28 Jan 2008|09:54pm]
[ mood | lonely ]

Hey there...Iwould have updated sooner but the last time I tried my computer fucked up and I got flustered and well...no update as a result. There's not a whole lot to talk about. I've still been spending most of my time with Mickey. The other day we were looking at wedding rings. I'm haappiest when I'm with him. I didn't think it woulld happen but yeah. Non Mickey related news....Moms friend Janice is getting kicked out of her place. I dunno what this means for us but I'm starting to like her less and less. We used to be close and get along great but she's on a slippery slope that's bound to take her to nowhere. I wish her luck in where ever she ends up. I might and hopefully will be getting a newer computer soon. My father was talking about sending me one. I could really use it cuz this one is a piece of shit. Well I really can't think of anything else to update except kudos on the car Heather and the 13th we should be headed your way if all goes as planned and we'll stay till the 14th evening or the 15th morning I'm not sure Mickey and I need to talk about it again I guess lol. Still I'll see you in a few weeks. I miss you!

Love you all

~E~

P.S~ Heather I liked the CHI Tatts we should get one of each..so when we're together ir'd be a pair hehe. just playing but I thought they were too cute.

ttyl

3 dared to dream| wish upon a star

Update Update Update Happy?! [12 Jan 2008|03:27am]
[ mood | loved ]

*Thinks* an update... Well, I hung out with Mickey go me! I swear I'm never happier then when I'm with him. (Except when I'm with you Sarah...yes I knew a comment was coming there...lol) So I'm planning on this to last. So I told Lynette (my stepmom) about him. She said she'll leave it up to me to tell my father which means we have no clue if he's going to approve of the fact that he's 13 years older then me or that he's deaf. I dunno...what I do know is that he was with this woman Sharon for a while and she's like 10 years older then him or whatever. So he can kiss my ass on the age difference and he better not be an ass about the fact that he can't hear. The point is I usually visit Delaware once a year. Right around my birthday which gives me 6 months to prepare haha. I want to drag Mickey with me so he can meet my father and sisters and of course some friends *nudges Sarah* Whatelse, I saw the movie Beerfest the other night. I thought it was stupid hilarious it was one laugh after another but stupid so yeah...I think if I ever see it on sale I'll get it for when I need a good laugh. It's looking like I'll get to visit my Heather for Valentines day with Mickey. That should be exciting. I'm trying to think of other things to update but life is pretty boring the only excitement I get is being with Mickey and I love that so I'm not complaining just saying as for updates nothing new is really going on. It's 3:30 in the morning so I'm gonna head to bed I guess.

Love ya
~E~

1 dared to dream| wish upon a star

An update [05 Jan 2008|11:07am]
[ mood | calm ]

I've been told that it's been too long since I updated. Or something like that haha. Ok for those of you who had to learn from outside sources or who don't know yet. Erica has left the single scene. I am dating a man named Mickey. He is hearing impaired but the sweetest guy ever. We've been going out for a little over 2 weeks and so far things are going very well. He's very respectful...Opens doors...just really sweet. The only thingI could foresee being a problem in the future is that he wants to spend all his time with me...which would be great if he wasn't in between jobs which means more than half of the day is usually spent with him. I don't tire of him it's more that I miss the time I had to myself since I had it for so long it's weird not to. He'll have a job soon though and Erica will have the time once again. I know the alphabet in Sign and a few words. He's teaching me and I have a book I borrowed from a friend on the subject. What else is new...umm I have developed a taste for sushi. I'm gonna get some tonight go me! umm..I dunno...it's been a while since I updated so I'm trying to think...There was this lady named Angel who is a "lock lizard" we had staying at our house but because we didn't let her smoke or drink in the house and we asked her to call when she's staying out for the night she felt we had too many rules and left us...for people who treat her like shit and basically robbed her blind. I still talk to her but she really took us for granted. I dunno what else to updated...I've been writting this guy Angelo...I call his Grandma Grandma even though we're not related...and he's in Jail so I've been keeping in touch...jail is where drugs will land ya...but he'll be out by next year...should be anyway. He's pretty cool if he just said no to drugs...at talented artist and writter. Anyway I'm gonna update...who am I kidding...I'll update when someone bugs me to again probablly...


Love you all!
~E~

8 dared to dream| wish upon a star

[13 Oct 2007|06:04am]
[ mood | drained ]

Happy Friday the 13th. Apparently I've been nudged to update. I've been back longer then it seems. Time has just flown by not that there's anything too perticular that I've been doing. I keep wanting to call people and don't get around to it. I've been really distracted lately and I don't understand why. I'm distracted until I get into a book and then I can't get away from it. I've been reading a lot lately. More then I used to and I like it because I've always wanted to read more. Yes they are silly romances but they are kinda deep still with more story to them with the underlying message that love can beat anything that stands in it's way. I've been trying to get out and about to do things and keep busy but I find myself more interested in reading than anything. I've been to the library twice since I've been back...read 7 stories the first go round and I took out 12 this time. I'm half way through my second. I think we are going to have a yard sale this weekend. I don't know. I think I was gonna sleep over Janices this weekend but the kids piss me off these days and with all the drama I dunno if I'll be going. On top of that the last weekend I spent there I spent reading lol I can do that at home. I read a trilogy when I was on my way back first the second because that's the one I got from my sister and I liked it so when I got back I got the 1st and 3rd...I really like when a whole bunch of stories come together. I think that's why I'm reading so much...they have all been trilogies....except one I think...anyway they are all good stuffies. Another thing is that my sleep has been VERY off. I've been staying up till all hours of the morning sleeping a few hours and then staying up through the night and morning sleeping a little in the evening...it's wearing down on me I feel less tolerant but anyway I want to call and talk to my buddy Sarah but I haven't because it seems I'm up around 12am-8am by then I'm in no talking mood. I've been very secluded lately. My friend Daniel has wanted to hang out and I hung out a couple times reluctently only because I felt bad that I seem to keep blowing him off. I have a good time with him but I just don't feel like doing stuff. On the other hand I wanna be busy and do stuff but I guess it's a different want. I could have a nice job in a second if I wanted to wait on tables but I don't have what it takes. some ppl do I'm not one of them. So till then still jobless which sucks in the money department but has given me plenty of free reading time...lol anyway I love you all that love me..you know who you are....and are you happy Heather? You nudge...i update...


Love
E

3 dared to dream| wish upon a star

wow long time no update [16 Apr 2006|05:32am]
[ mood | depressed ]

I know it's been too long since I last updated. I'm sorry for that. Life as pretty much been a steady down slope since I got my GED. Not that it's the reason for my misery. I am still currently unemployed. I'm not going to school which I really would like to. I really wanted to visit DE but no funds. I found out a friend of mine is pregnant. I'm happy for her but at the same time I'm like dude wow ya know? I dunno how I'm doing relationship wise. It's a bit confusing to me right now. As for anythinng new. I got my eyebrow pierced. I like it. I don't care if you do. LOL. Well I'm not home rigt now and I don't want anyone here to see this so I'll try to update later.

Love
E

6 dared to dream| wish upon a star

[15 Aug 2005|04:15am]
[ mood | cheerful ]

Well Erica has been back in GA for a couple months now...I got my GED this Saturday...well I know I passed...I will get it in the mail in 4 weeks. Sometime between Sept and Oct I'll be moving back to DE...so lol probablly next time I update LOL. Other then that I dunno what to update...those are the main things that happened...Oh and Sarah and Adams wedding was beautiful for those who didn't get to go...like the lucky ones that did **smiles** ANYWHO....yeah so I guess that includes my update here.

ttyl
~E~

6 dared to dream| wish upon a star

[05 May 2005|06:20pm]
Haven't updated in a bit...Erica is in Delaware...for those who weren't sure. I'm at Sarah's right now...but this Friday evening (tomorrow) I will proabaly be at my sisters. Other then that...*thinks* I dunno what else to update...I'm attending a wedding the 10th....congrats you cute couple you! I'm routing for ya...

Adam
and
Sarah
Ruddermann
forever :-)

Alright loves...I'll catch up with ya laterz.
wish upon a star

[19 Dec 2004|06:15pm]
[ mood | blah ]

Nothing new here. I want to delete my old entries...except for the ones with the poems...but it's taking to long...u know like a new start...but I like my poems too much to get rid of. Oh well. I love my new journal lay out. Very Purrrtyful. Thanks bunches.
Still not much to talk about. I've been working and sleeping and working and sleeping...working...sleeping...that kinda thing. Xmas is right around the corner...after that I can start saving money to visit DE. I dunno how much I'll be able to save lol but I'll do my best cuz I miss ya'll. I dunno when I'll be able to come visit either. It depends on when I can get a week off from work...hopefully will be in July but if they make me wait the whole year out then it might not be till October or November.
I'm still living the single life...thanks to...myself...for not taking chances lol Oh well...I'll be an old maid but as long as I have lots of pets I'll never be lonely and so I'm feeling like it'll be okies. ^_^
I have a Xanga Journal now...I've been trying to keep it updated...I've been doing a lot better then I have on this one haha. *thinks* Maybe Ill try to update this one more too...we'll see...but I need to go now...

so ttyl

~Wicked Lady~

1 dared to dream| wish upon a star

[17 Dec 2003|02:01am]
Slashes
I had no time to stop and bleed
When suddenly I fell to my knees
The deep gashes in my skin were not by me
I think of them as pictures telling you a story
And if you listen closely you will here all of my glory
It's not that I think everyone hates me
Just that they don't understand
Finally I return to my feet
And pain shoots through my body
I go in and lay down where I left myself for dead
A week later I wake up
No break for me
My slashes have heal enough to continue
I blame you for this
I don't worry though
Next week the slashes will be deeper
They always are



I wrote that 11/20/03 I don't believe I posted it...not here at least...just looking through my poems on poetry.com Erica Paris if ne one is interested in going there and looking at ne of them...I wrote all the ones under that name...but my name is there 2 times because they are under 2 different addresses from when I moved...

blah
wish upon a star

[17 Dec 2003|01:32am]
[ mood | indescribable ]

Tuesday nights sleepless thoughts

Unheard cries to the night
I am the one who must be strong now
By day I hold my head up high
At night the tears rain down
No one will see how I am dying
I will let no one see me crying
I am suprised at my strength
But how long before I fall
I drag my feet now
I don't sleep
Is she free
Is she staying in her cage
She sees everything coming
How is it she could not see this
Maybe if I hold it in no one will know
No one will see
Maybe I will fall and so will my world
Maybe everything will be fine
Maybe miracles really do happen
Maybe not


I wrote it..if you don't like it I don't give a fuck...thus why I posted...though if you don't like it keep it to urself...If u like it, I mean for real, then feel free to let me know...I need something to be happy about these days.

I can't sleep. I am sort of just letting everything soak in I guess. I don't even think today was real...I wouldn't believe it if it weren't for the fact that the only ppl here are me and my step dad. I wouldn't believe it if I wasn't right there. I don't know how much more I can reassure every1 it's going to be fine...I wish I would listen to myself for once but I just can't convince myself. *sigh* I don't know ne thing ne more. My world feels like it's fallen apart and now I have nothing...I have got some friends thankfully however I don't know how much help that is gonna be when they can't do anything. I wonder why I feel I have to carry this on my shoulders and not show emotion...I wonder why I have to be strong for the family. I have my kitty to hug...my Atticus...I can see us growing older together....he'll be the only guy that will put up with me and love me forever unconditionally. I can cry in front of him and he will purr and rub aginst me. I think after what happened I should be able to live my life with just a cat...who needs love when pain usually follows? I mean I thought I was feeling something for someone I couldn't stop thinking of since I saw him Sunday. I smiled all the way here thinking of him...I was in a great mood. The problem is every1 I have deeply cared about or loved has hurt me...Steve...my dad...my mom...I have friends...but I am through with love of all kinds something always goes wrong...I am convinced I am cursed.

sorry this entry was so damn long...I don't feel like making one of those damn links so sorry...


ttyl
bai bai
~Wicked Lady~

2 dared to dream| wish upon a star

[16 Nov 2003|04:51pm]
[ mood | blah ]

solitary
Your soul is bound to the Solitary Rose: The
Alone.

"When I wake up alone, the shades are still
drawn on the cold window pane so they cast
their lines on my bed and lines on my
face."


The Solitary Rose is associated with loneliness,
melancholy, and patience. It is governed by
the goddess Merope and its sign is The Sword,
or Unrequited Love.

As a Solitary Rose, you may be summed up as a
hopeless romantic. You desire love and have so
much love to give, but thing just never seem to
work out the way you want them to. In life,
you can be very optomistic, even when things
are gray and nothing works out to your
expectations.


What Rose Is Your Soul Bound To?
brought to you by Quizilla


I'm still alive...half asleep...but still alive.


ttyl
bai bai
~Wicked Lady~

wish upon a star

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